Oh! Delmarva, Here I Come! Right Back Where I Started From

In a little less than a week, Hott Mama, The Pow!erbot Team and I will be heading south on a journey through the Mid-Atlantic states and I'm horribly excited. Partially for the destinations along the way and certainly for the people we'll be visiting but I'm also frothing at the mouth to get hours upon hours of uninterrupted music listening. I love road trips and I love them most for their soundtracks. For me, the journey is an end in itself. I took a nearly cross country road trip with Listmaker years ago and we barely left the car because the point of the trip was to be inside with the stereo blasting mix tape after mix tape. I'm giddy just thinking about the upcoming trip and wonder if it's too early to start putting together the pile of cds that will carry us towards the Mason-Dixon line.

Opinions No One Asked For

Happy birthday, Listmaker. I just want to say how grateful I am for your years of friendship and mix making. Even though they come at a slower pace these days, I still cherish each one even when not made specifically for me. In response to your latest wonderful compilation, here is my report card. In case any readers out there haven't already downloaded their copy I say quit yer stalling and click on the link now. You'll be glad you did as the mix is full of hits and the reviews below will make a lot more sense. Now, on to the nonsense:

1. The Searchers – Hearts in Her Eyes – I think this is how you started that first mix for me way back in 1994 perhaps? Oh how much has changed. Instead of camp counselors you are now a teacher of children and I manage adults who act like children; you are no longer making mixes on cassette with covers made of rubber cement and old report cards and instead post them as digital files with photo covers for others to print; One thing that has not changed is the viselike grip that power pop has on your soul. A-
2. Nick Lowe – Rollers Show – Maybe it’s the Republican method wherein constant repetition becomes truth but this song makes me desperate to hear the Bay City Rollers. I thought they were a much-maligned bunch of castoffs but if the Jesus of Cool gives his seal of approval, count me in. A
3. Deerhoof – Basket Ball Get Your Groove Back – I now hate Deerhoof, basketball, Dick Vitale and all music thanks to this utterly horrendous puzzler of a “song.” F
4. The Feelies – Loveless Love – You know how Ian Mackaye’s entire musical output all stems from The Minutemen’s “This Ain’t No Picnic”? Well, this song is The Technical Jed’s “This Ain’t No Picnic.” A
5. Caribou – Eli – I liked him better when he was in the Dictators but this is still lovely. Breezy like a summer's day and soft focus like a Summer’s Eve commercial. B+
6. The Dodos – Jody – Drum and Guitar duos are kind of the dodos of the music scene what with Meg White on semi-permanent hiatus and the singer from the Black Keys putting out a solo album but these dudes make me nostalgic for those ugly, awkward, flightless birds. I love the insistent strumming, clattering percussion and the out of step intro and outro on this one. Marvelous perfection. A+
7. Rodriguez – Rich Folks Hoax – What if Donovan had something to say besides moon-eyed semi-poetic nonsense? It still wouldn’t be as ass kicking as this song. So gorgeous I nearly fell over the railing of my yacht. A
8. Jacques Dutronc – Hippie Hippie Hoorah – What is making that sick sound? And I mean sick in both the old “ill” sense of the word as well as the new “illin’” meaning. B+
9. Ify Jerry Krusade – Everybody Likes Something Good – True. Very true. Even Hitler apparently had a soft spot for puppies and soaring classical music. B+
10. Young-Holt Trio – Wack Wack – At first I thought this didn’t hold a candle to the live version, and while I still love the raw insanity of that version, I’ve come to appreciate the professionalism on this one as well as the weird bowed bass/distorted vocal parts. A good song for every elementary school orchestra to learn. A-
11. The Baseball Project – Harvey Haddix – As compelling as “Hurricane” when it comes to story songs based on real life crimes that have devastating effects. Perhaps, like that story, this song will lead to an overturned ruling. A
12. John Fogerty – I Can’t Take It No More – Speaking for disgruntled baseball nerds everywhere, John Fogerty, a man who will forever be associated with the sport thanks to “Centerfield,” screams his head off about the injustices of Harvey Haddix’s lack of a perfect game acknowledgement. B+
13. Gentleman Jesse – Highland Crawler – At first I thought you were breaking the cardinal rule and including the same artist twice on one mix but then I realized this isn’t “So It Goes.” Close call there, Raphael. Is this band the Mayflies USA of the late 2000s? A-
14. Sloan – Cheap Champaign – This band deserves their almost-ran status. Their songs are effervescent and pleasing but leave little trace once they’ve trickled down your throat. I couldn’t sing you a single line from any of their songs. B+
15. Gilberto Gil – Frevo Rasgado – This could be the theme song to the creepiest children’s show ever. Creepier than anything Sid and Marty Kroft ever dreamed up. B
16. Stormy – The Devastator – Standard Issue Soul Song #23-F. B
17. The Records – Teenarama – You already blew my mind once with this song but you’ve done it again. Every time I revisit it I find a new favorite line. Currently it’s “First bra/Too far” which I think perfectly sums up the ultra-creepiness and heavy, heavy guilt this song is trafficking in. B
18. The Collins Kids – Hot Rod – From a song about teens to a song by teens. The wish for a speedy death machine is great but she knows she has to wait until she’s legal. Maybe she should hang around with the hussy from the Records song and teach her a thing or two about the beauty of patience and delayed gratification. B+
19. Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks – Gardenia – This song is as good as any legendary Pavement gem. I like his jams but I like the short bursts of perfection too. A+
20. Alemayehu Eschete – Tchero Adari Negn – Like James Brown blessed with voodoo power and itching powder. B+
21. Jo Ann Garrett – Goin’ Man Huntin’ – An update on The Most Dangerous Game? B
22. Crooked Fingers – Your Control – Hot damn this is an amazing song. Once again relegated to the cheap seats, Eric Bachmann will not be deterred. A+
23. Bon Iver – For Emma - A beautiful song and a perfect closer. Too bad the same can't be said for Harvey Haddix. A

Queen in Review

I have always loved best-of compilations in theory but in practice they always leave me underwhelmed. They typically miss personal favorites or include duds that don't belong anywhere near the words "greatest" or "hits." But there are some bands that I like but are either too hit-and-miss or have too many albums or I don't love them enough to want it all so therein lies the greatest dilemma of our times: Spring for the less than perfect collection or shell out tons of money for a discography that will never get listened to?

I choose option 3 - search through all the albums and hand pick your personal favorites to create a unique and custom made compilation of only the brightest and best. It's a great way to quickly familiarize yourself with a band and after a few weeks of intense study and analysis you can ignore 90% of their output and never visit them again. It's an insane waste of time for sure but it is one of my favorite hobbies.

Queen was the latest band that I picked apart and put back together as I saw fit. They had some spotty compilations come out in the 90s thanks to Wayne's World and the "Bohemian Rhapsody" renaissance but the greatest hits album from 1981 is pretty untouchable. 14 nearly perfect songs and no crap. It is one of the first tapes I remember loving as a child and my admiration for it has never waned over 26 years. It's so flawless that I figured they had to have amazing deep cuts somewhere in their back catalog. I am sad to say, they really don't.

I picked over each album from 1973's Queen to 1982's Hot Space and came up with very little worth keeping other than the songs on Greatest Hits. How could this be? Aside from the 13 songs on this compilation that I kept (sorry, "You're My Best Friend") I only found 10 other songs worth saving. How is it possible that there were only 10 other worthy tracks over the course of 10 albums? It's because Queen is the weirdest and most erratic band to ever grace the pop charts. Just look at that photo up there. They're like the Logan's Run house band. Freddie Mercury alone is worth an in depth assessment but it will have to wait. Over the next week or two I will explore each album so you can join me on the strange journey through Queen's development and I promise, there will be no "Radio Ga Ga."

The Mix Tape is Still King

When I was in high school, I was in a band called Mitten that prided itself on two things: our unrelenting amateurism and the commitment to play anywhere we were invited, no matter how silly or lame. This led to us playing at a library to senior citizens, on the Mall in DC on a plank of wood for an Amnesty International event, at the summer camp where I was a counselor for 8-12 year olds and in an empty coffee shop on the Jersey Shore.

One time my brother, who was also a guitarist in the band, was having a house party in his college home 'The Planetarium' and invited his own band to play at the affair. The rest of us lived over 2 hours away but jumped at the chance to play another gig, packed up our gear and were on our way. The show was an intense mess. We were crammed into a tiny space in a tiny basement competing with the understandably inattentive crowd. At one point, the sound proof wall fell down on the drummer's head midsong and had to be held up by the head of the bass player's instrument. It must have looked pretty pitiful. At one point, one of the guests came downstairs and said to his friend, "What is up with this Post-Polvo Snooze Fest." It was surely the best one sentence assessment of a band since the infamous "shit sandwich" review. It was also the perfect name for a fanzine.

The following summer, 3/4 of the band and Listmaker worked diligently to put together our first fanzine. It was made the old fashioned way with glue sticks, tape and the help of a friend at Kinko's who promised to look the other way as we used their services at no charge. Post Polvo Snooze Fest was dedicated the art of the mixtape and we were so proud of it. Looking back on it now I can see that it was insanely low budget and slapped together but it's still chock full of good advice. Years later we made Volume 2 but this one was all digital - no more paper cuts. They're the perfect way to waste time on this slow spring day so check them out and relive the old days before iPods and MP3s, when cassettes still ruled the world. Or at least my world.