Pandora, I Love You

I want to tell you all (all 2 of you) about a little lady who has changed my work life dramatically. No it's not the woman who brought in a portable skillet today to make home fries and eggs at her cubicle for everyone in the department, although that was an incredible start to the month. Today I am singing the praises of Pandora, a website I had known about but never really utilized until recently. Just type in a band you like and away she goes. This little musical robot instantly loads up a tune by that band and then takes control of the music selection, playing song after song by bands she thinks are similar to the one you've chosen. Using some higher mathematics and an old copy of Spin magazine, Pandora calculates your tastes and interests, serving up a heaping platter of hits.

"But what if she's wrong?" you wonder. Well then, you just tell Pandora that her choice is terrible and she'll cut it off immediately, apologize for the mistake and move on to another choice, acting as if the miscue never happened. It's guaranteed that the offending material will never see light of day again on that station and you are safe to return to life as normal.

So far, Pandora has been mostly spot on but it seems to depend highly on what you input as your band (or bands) of choice. You can pick one musical artist and let it go from there which keeps the possibilities narrower but more well defined or you can pick a group of artists to allow for a wider range of suggestions from Pandora. You can have several different stations all with their own guidelines and play them by themselves or play a mix of all stations created. The possibilities are literally endless and my work productivity has grinded to a halt as I endlessly tweak and refine my stations, creating the perfect bubble world from where I peer out onto those around me, happy in my musical womb and refusing to rejoin the harsh outside realm.

Be careful with your choices though, as Pandora's ideas of "similar" may differ greatly from your own and you'll find yourself travelling down musical alleyways that frighten and disturb you. One of my stations is simply based on Guided By Voices and I have yet to come across a bad song. Here's a sampling of what Pandora has chosen for the GBV station: Modest Mouse "The Waydown", Wolf Parade "Shine a Light", Alex Chilton "Hook or Crook." Pure gold, right? But now contrast that with the Crooked Fingers station I chose which ended up spitting out terrible Bloodshot Records almost-rans and modern folk nonsense that has none of the fire or weirdness Crooked Fingers does.

And no matter how much I love Pandora, it won't stop me from questioning this head scratching blunder. My "Classic Prog" station is set with Frank Zappa, Rush and King Crimson as the barriers which she should work within. So why, Pandora, why did you think that Scorpions' "No One Like You" belonged anywhere near this station. A great song, no doubt (even if it's a little too similar to "Rock You Like a Hurricane") but not prog in any sense of the word. She also has a tendency to replay certain songs over and over. "Jenny and the Ess-Dog" is a daily selection on the Pandora jukebox. She does give me the option of banning certain songs for a month if they show up too often but I just don't have the heart. A week maybe but not a month. But for all her tiny faults, I still love her. Plus, she just chose to play "Boys Club" by Ween so once again everything is right in the world. The economy may be crumbling and tensions are heating up worldwide, but with Pandora at the helm of my ship, I know everything's gonna be alright. Just as long as she doesn't start throwing Bob Marley in the mix.