Are we nearing the point where all the good bands names have been taken? After more than 50 years of rock and roll, there can't be many more left that are worth anything, right? And if this is true, we should be worried about the fate of music in general since typically, a band with a horrendous name cannot rise to power. It's one of the laws of the universe. Tke The The for example. They wrote terrible songs and were never that popular but because they have the worst name ever - past, present and future - they will never make it into history books. Ask the next 5 people you encounter about this band and they will all give you either a puzzled look or show visible signs of pain. That's a guarantee.
I was in countless bands in high school and beyond and most of the names we had were terrible. Here's a sampling: Headrush. Tedium. Mitten. The Fonky Honkies. You get the idea. If you didn't know me, you would never heard of these bands and it's not simply due to the supreme lack of musical skill. The band names alone never would have allowed us to dominate the Billboard charts. The decision of what to name your band is a giant undertaking usually resulting in hundreds if not thousands of castoff options, interband battles of will and, quite possibly, exchanges of violence. Many bands breakup before even deciding on a name and the few that enter upon this nasty ritual typically crack under the pressure and end up choosing a name in a method similar to a game of Eeny Meeney Miney Moe. The Onion A.V. Club has once again featured the greatest bad band names of the year and its quite a hefty collection. What they've boiled down to six pages I've distilled even further into my top 11 choices, listed in no particular order. Each touches me in some special way and highlights what is only the tip of a very soul-crushing iceberg.
Crapulence
Vigo the Carpathian and the Thrash Money Millionairez
Post Mortem Bong Hit
Touched By a Janitor
Abracastabya
Carlos I’m Pregnant
Shitty Shitty Band Band
White Shoes and the Couples Company
Piss Pissedofferson
Teenage Waistband
Yam Cannon
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5 comments:
maybe i have no idea what i'm talking about but i love the band name "carlos i'm pregnant." then again, i kind of like the band name "the the."
And I love them all! Love. Them. Each and every one brought a smile to my face.
Stop being so picky, grumpus.
I also like them all, but "Vigo the Carpathian and the Thrash Money Millionairez" is friggin' rad. But I'm a sucker for Ghost Busters II references.
I like them all, too, that's why they're my top 11. These are the ones that made me nearly choke amidst all the other bizarre band names. I didn't think I was being grumpy just pointing out some insanity. For all the lovers out there, definitely check out the full article so you can supersaturate your bad band name desires.
i feel a bout of ketchup mania coming on.
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