The Greatests of All Time

Recently, I was at a Neko Case/Eric Bachmann show and ran into some coworkers who were there to see Neko but didn't know anything about Eric Bachmann. I told them he was one of my favorite musicians ever if not my favorite and they said, "Really?" having never heard of him or his music. "Who are your other favorites?" they wondered. I thought for a second or two but couldn't come up with any answers. "What about Rush?" Mothra piped up. Nice guess, this was right after I professed my love for their song "Subdivisions" on this very blog after all, but not quite right. I continued to ponder this question for weeks and am determined to come up with an answer tonight.

First off, I want to set up a few criteria for this query. My goal here is to find out what artists I consider to be the most awesome over the course of their entire careers. The winners need to be unfailingly consistent, at least according to my specific tastes. I also believe that to be one of favorites I need to own everything they've ever released. Or mostly everything. I'm no completist so this condition applies to properly released albums and possibly e.p.s, not necessarily live albums, 7"s or lunchboxes. Let's first look at some almost-rans and the reasons for their losses and then we'll move on the the winners.

Burnouts and Fade Aways

This category is for those bands that started off with a string of amazing albums only to later stumble, falter and dissolve. For me, this includes Black Sabbath, whose initial five album run is consistently incredible but the plot gets lost shortly thereafter, and the Ramones, who were solid for a while and then got a bit bored and boring although there are hints of brilliance throughout their career. Bob Dylan and R.E.M. both started with a decade of wonderfulness but Dylan's later dabblings are pretty hit or miss while R.E.M. have been an embarrassment now for as long as they were a badge of honor for music geeks. A truly depressing flameout that makes me sad every time I think about it.

Late Blooming

Yo La Tengo is the perfect example of the late blooming band. Their first albums are pleasant alright, but nothing too spectacular. From Painful on, they have been one of the few bands to make extremely long albums worth listening to from start to finish. Tom Waits, at least for me, is also a late bloomer. His early drunk troubador albums have a charm but do very little for me on the whole. After his shift to the crazy junk man howler of the post-Swordfishtrombones era, I find his albums to be consistently mindblowing and exhilarating. I also banish the Beatles into this category. Their skiffle band days are fun but nothing compared to their second half that puts all other bands to shame.

Spotty at Best

Many bands have incredible highs that rise above most others but they are often coupled with crushing lows preventing them from creating a legacy of untouched greatness. As Mothra so rightly pointed out, Rush's best moments are some of my favorites in all music but their lows are so depressing (some would say they've made a career solely out of horrifying missteps) that they nearly obliterate the good feelings I have towards them. Joan Jett, Led Zeppelin, Guided by Voices and Frank Zappa all created songs that never fail to knock me out but they all have some moments that are best ignored. Some have a few and some have many and some have songs like "The Crunge."

The Final Reveal

Some bands are too new (at least to my world) for me to properly judge but Liars, The New Pornographers, The Shins and M. Ward have all put out entire discographies that I find nearly flawless. So here, in somewhat ascending order, are my top 12 most awesomest favorite bands of all time who also have nearly dud-free histories: Belle and Sebastian, Fugazi, The Smiths, Sonic Youth, The Magnetic Fields, Modest Mouse, Pavement, The White Stripes, Ween, Wilco, and Pixies. And number one is Eric Bachmann in every form he's ever taken: Archers of Loaf, Barry Black, Crooked Fingers and under his own name. For whatever reason, I'm a sucker for every album he's ever created and every song he's ever written. He played about 45 minutes at the concert but I was clamoring for at least 4 more hours. I still don't know why he's not more well known after slugging it out in the music biz for years and years but I guess even Stravinsky wasn't overly popular in his day so what do people know?