What's More Unbelievable?

Monday, February 16, 2009

Judging an Album by Its Cover

When I was younger, I knew a boy so rich his house was monogrammed. The first time I met him he was bouncing on a trampoline in his backyard and firing a BB gun into the air. I was afraid for my life. Their family was unlike any I had ever met. Their father was a brain surgeon and was rarely home but when he was, it was best to clear out. They not only had a pool and jacuzzi but a tennis court and horses. It was always a strange visit.

One time his older brother, who was reportedly a stripper, came home just long enough to show off his cool sunglasses (which he was wearing inside the house) and to beat the hell out of the kid I knew. There was also a younger brother who it later turned out was actually a nephew since the father was not the brain surgeon but the stripper. I could go on about the terrible tales from that house but the whole point in me relaying this story is to say there was another brother who was obsessed with snakes, so much so that he once bought an Alice Cooper album simply because it had a snake on the cover. I can't remember which one it was but I hope for his sake it was Killer and not Constrictor.
I thought it was so stupid to buy a record simply based on the album art. What if you ended up with some piece of junk? What a waste of money. I doubted he even listened to the cassette he purchased which just infuriated me more. I later became fascinated with the world of Incredibly Strange Music and learned there were serious benefits to buying albums solely because they had insane covers but at the time I didn't get it at all. While I still won't buy a cd by an unknown band with a cool cover, it can cause me to investigate further and a good album cover from an artist I already like can make the anticipation that much sweeter. M. Ward's new disc drops tomorrow and I can't wait to hear it but nothing compares to the hyperexcitement caused by the new Neko Case cover.
This one I'd buy for the picture alone. What musical treasures could possibly lurk within?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

jesus, which friend are you talking about? i kind of remember a monogram and trampoline, but not any of the rest of that. probably glad that i don't know, but i'm curious.

Crispin H. Glover said...

Ben Banning. He lived down the road from Jonathan. Bad news, dude. bad news.